Step Sixty, Rediscover Yourself
by moonswirl
Summary: Gleekathon, day 1258: After telling Santana how she has trouble readjusting to her wardrobe, Brittany is taken off to the mall for some shopping and soul searching. - Paper Heart series


_Started my daily ficlets to make the hiatus pass, then decided to keep going with a 2nd cycle, and then a 3rd, 4th, etc through 59th cycle. Now cycle 60!_

* * *

**"Step Sixty, Rediscover Yourself"  
Brittany, Santana, Brittany/Santana  
Paper Heart series  
_(all series now listed under the communities tab in my profile)_  
**

Brittany had started working off the baby weight before long, and she was coming along nicely, putting on clothes that she hadn't put on in months. They didn't even feel like they'd ever been hers anymore. As crazy as it sounded, she almost missed her maternity clothes.

The moment she'd told Santana about this, she had declared she was coming over to pick her up, and she was taking her to the mall so she could renew her wardrobe.

"I don't have to get mom jeans, do I?" Brittany had gasped.

"Not as long as I'm there," Santana had been just as thrown off by the idea. "No, you're going to look great, like you always do."

"Okay," Brittany had smiled.

As they had gotten to the mall and started to browse through the racks, Santana had quickly noticed Brittany didn't look all that committed to the search. She would show her something, but after a half-hearted look, she would shrug and say she wasn't sure. After the fourth time this had happened, Santana had pulled her from the store.

"What's wrong?"

"I don't know…" she looked back to the displays.

"Do you miss Shorty?" Santana tried, and Brittany smiled; she liked when Santana called him that.

"No, that's not it. I mean, I miss him, too, but that's not… I just…" she searched for words, resting her hand to her stomach.

"You're worried about the way you'll look, I get that," Santana promised.

"Easy for you to say, you're hot," Brittany shrugged, making the other smirk.

"Thanks. You're not exactly unhot yourself. Trust me."

She didn't look convinced. She wanted to say that she wanted to look the way she used to, but she didn't even know who that was anymore.

"Take your time, really. There's no rush. Look around, try on some stuff. Okay?"

"Yeah, alright," Brittany finally agreed.

"Once you find one thing, it's going to start getting easier. It'll become like the centerpiece to your whole new look." Brittany thought about it, slowly nodding along.

"Centerpiece," she repeated.

"Yeah," Santana gave her an encouraging smile. "Ready to try again?"

"Sure," she took a breath before they went in. Instead of presenting her with options, she had let Brittany go around and spot out something she might like, a contender for this centerpiece.

It had been a dress, ocean blue with lines that Brittany claimed reminded her of Harry's hair. He didn't have much of it, but it gave a definite impression that he would have curls in his future.

With the blue dress had come a jacket, and with the jacket a shirt, then pants, and another shirt, a skirt, a blouse, and shoes, and boots, and before they knew it the deed was done. Now she had to try everything on, and the uncertainty returned.

"I can't wait to see, come on," Santana encouraged. She knew it would fit her, and it would look great, but she needed to see it for herself if she was going to believe it, too.

Brittany had disappeared into the small cabin with the clothes, leaving Santana to sit and wait. The girl in charge of the area quickly took a dislike to her as she would fish through the items left discarded, holding them up to herself.

"Are you ready? Can I see?" she finally turned to the cabins. She could see bare feet; she was sitting on the bench inside. "Britt?" she touched the door and saw it had been unlocked. She pushed it in, slipped inside and shut it again.

Brittany sat there, in the blue dress, which looked perfect on her, as suspected. It matched to her eyes, darker now that she was crying.

"Hey, now…" Santana sighed, getting on her knees to reach eye level. "What happened?" she asked, brushing tears away from the blonde's face.

"I don't know," Brittany shook her head. "I can't help it. Maybe they broke me at the hospital when Harry was born."

"You were doing fine before today," Santana pointed out. "You're not broken, Britt," she promised her.

"Can I just stay with him?" she asked, her voice small and frail.

"With Harry?" Santana asked.

"I'll be going back to school soon," she explained, tugging at the dress. "And I'll have to leave him every day. I've always been with him, even before he was born. What if he forgets me, or he hates me for leaving him?"

"Brittany, that's not…" Santana sighed, coming up to hug her. "That kid is going to love you his whole life, and he's not going to forget you. Every day that you go away, you get to come back and see his face light up when he sees you again. If you're not sure, just wait until you get home tonight."

Pulling back, she could see her words had the right effect on her. The tears were receding, her mood slowly lifted… She stood and faced the mirror, adjusting the dress. Santana stood behind her, zipping the dress closed.

"Beautiful," she declared, and Brittany smiled.

"Is it a good centerpiece?" she asked.

"It's perfect," Santana assured her. "You should try on the rest now," she moved to exit and was stopped.

"Wait," Brittany reached to hug her. It caught Santana off guard for a moment, but she hugged her back. "Thank you," Brittany whispered, and Santana breathed out.

"Any time."

Once Santana had stepped back out, Brittany had been more at ease with trying on the clothes and stepping out to show them. Santana hadn't realized until then just how much her figure had bounced back. At the same time, she didn't look exactly the same, not the old Brittany but this new one, who was a lot like the old one but was also a mom. New or old, Santana could only look at her with love and admiration. She could count herself lucky every day that she was a part of her life, and Harry's life…

"Santana?"

She looked up at the sound of her name, finding Brittany stood there, halfway through the process of changing from one new item to the next.

"What is it, something wrong?" she asked, standing.

"No," Brittany shook her head. And then she kissed her. There was no second guessing what that kiss was, and when Brittany stood back, she gave a nod, satisfied with herself. "We'll talk after," she announced, returning to the cabin.

"Yeah, sure, okay…" Santana replied, needing a moment to process this anyway.

THE END/TO BE CONTINUED (STEP 62)

* * *

******A/N: This is a one-shot ficlet, which means that signing up for story alert will not bring you any alerts.  
****In the event of a sequel, the story will be separate from this one. And as chapter stories go, they are  
************always clearly indicated as such [ex: "Days 204-210" in the summary] Thank you!**


End file.
